OK, so the non-insertion of pie can turn you into a stick insect, but that's not the only danger.

Isn't Bono amazing?

I was saddened to hear that he was injured last week while out for a walk. The driver of that cabin cruiser should have been watching where he was going.

But few people realise that it's a regular insertion of pie that keeps Bono on the path of righteousness.

Here's what happens when he's due for a slice.



And here's what happens when he doesn't get it.

More music

David Gedge is the song writer and front man for a British indie band called "The Wedding Present". Often his songs are a sometimes painfully personal look at love, warts and all.

But here he's singing about apple pie. It's a metaphor for covert assassinations by the CIA. The poison they used tasted a bit like apples, so they'd put it into something that already tasted like apples to mask the taste.

Really, I included him because I wanted an excuse to put a song about pie in here. I am rather partial to The Wedding Present though.

Even though he's not singing about unrequited love right at this moment, you can still see the pain writ large on his face.

He wants that pie. He wants it. He wants it so badly. Comfort eating probably. His last girlfriend's now going out with his best mate.



Category 3. Steak and ale. On it's way.

Wayne Rooney

Give this man a pie, immediately. A medium, category 3 pie will suffice.

Welcome to INSERT PIE HERE!

I found a picture, and on that picture was a banner proclaiming "Judas"

Underneath that banner was a mouth. A wide open "O" of a mouth that you could have wedged a pie in.

Here it is. The image that started it all... You could get a category 3 pie into this mouth.



This still would not have merited more than a post on a discussion board had it not been for a post on a discussion board, which linked to another picture.



Yes, Andy Murray, famous British tennis player, had won a match, and was demanding a pie as reward. Sideways. with the horns sticking out. You could fit a pie into this mouth that wouldn't stand a chance of getting into the mouth of the Burnley Judas bloke. Category 5 for sure.

So that's what this blog is about. If I find people asking, like chicks in a nest, for a nice porkie pie, I will post them here.

If you should stumble across such an image, please feel free to e-mail me