He got the munchies!

Give this man a huge category 5 pie immediately. And a mars bar. And 20 silk cut. And a packet of green rizla.

O C C U _ _ _ D

OK, so the non-insertion of pie can turn you into a stick insect, but that's not the only danger.

Isn't Bono amazing?

I was saddened to hear that he was injured last week while out for a walk. The driver of that cabin cruiser should have been watching where he was going.

But few people realise that it's a regular insertion of pie that keeps Bono on the path of righteousness.

Here's what happens when he's due for a slice.



And here's what happens when he doesn't get it.

Why pie?

See this?



See the mouth? It's shut tight. No way could you insert a pie into that. Not even a small one.

And you can see the result for yourself. Either she's 11 feet tall, or she's about 3 stone.

Er...

What's that then? A 4? A 5? Go back and compare it with Ted Nugent. Then try to erase the hideous associations such a comparison conjures up.

This is also, so far, the closest I've got to posting a female person for pie insertion. I'm not sure what that says really. I shall have a pie and shut up.

More music

David Gedge is the song writer and front man for a British indie band called "The Wedding Present". Often his songs are a sometimes painfully personal look at love, warts and all.

But here he's singing about apple pie. It's a metaphor for covert assassinations by the CIA. The poison they used tasted a bit like apples, so they'd put it into something that already tasted like apples to mask the taste.

Really, I included him because I wanted an excuse to put a song about pie in here. I am rather partial to The Wedding Present though.

Even though he's not singing about unrequited love right at this moment, you can still see the pain writ large on his face.

He wants that pie. He wants it. He wants it so badly. Comfort eating probably. His last girlfriend's now going out with his best mate.



Category 3. Steak and ale. On it's way.

Is the size of your mouth related to the size of...

...your ego?

Huh? What did you think I was going to say?

This is Ted Nugent. Try to stick a pie in his mouth, and he'll probably shoot you. And then brag about it. Except he can't, because both his arms have turned into guitars. Which means he won't be able to play either of them.

Hurrah!



So a big category 4 wild deer and commie pie for Ted. Not as big as Andy Murray's though.

Many thanks to John Cooper for sending this.

But that's not all he sent!

He also sent a picture of 80's Rock God, David Lee Roth.



David stands out amongst 80's Rock Gods because of his humility and asceticism. Even while his mouth says "big pie please", his fingers tell a different story. His fingers are positioned in eager anticipation of recieving a teeny weeny little pie!

Anything to oblige. A category 1 pie has been duly inserted.